Blues Bar Dialogue circa April 1993.

  JB: Sorry. I've just woken up!

  JC: ZZZ Ain't nothing like sleep for a black sheep!

  JB: I go out at lunch time, get very drunk, sleep till 9.45, wake up
  find a message from my mother on the answerphone "Oh, Jon, where are
  you", then go to the pub for another drink, emm?

  JC: Story of a life! I like the socks you are wearing!

  JB: Yes, but it took me 5 minutes longer to get here trying to find my
  glasses.

  JC: But you are here in time to claim your free beer!

  JB: Free? I've been saving up for it..

  JC: It's strange to see you looking like you might be happy - a visage
  last clapped eyes upon millelenia ago!

  JB: Happy? Guilty of all the crimes this century has commited maybe,
  happy? A moribund euphoria.

  JC: Forgive me for mentioning it, I should have known better.

  JB: Decadence before the fall.

  JC: It's not just you, Jon Bainbridge. Take a look around you. This is
  a lustful and demented planet and we are all happily going to hell!

Labels: harrogate notebook bluesbar 1993

From my notebook 04/04/91

I remember waking up and thinking "that was a good dream". Now I can't remember what it was that I dreamt. It pisses me off that I'm so creative in my dreams yet when I wake I cannot seem to find any coherent images of metaphors that have not been used one thousand times.

My dreams all seem to be of travelling and changing, yet in real life I get nowhere!

"Travelling and falling, these are the best dreams you can have." This, accoording to the Senoi, the dream - tribe via Le Guin.

What lies at the end of dreams? Life is a cul-de-sac with a decidedly dead end...not a very good metaphor, but..from the nipples of the mother-goddess flow the milk of life.

Labels: harrogate dreams metaphors godawful 1991

Sunday Afternoon Porno Video

1 Switching on

The buzzing of phosphor dots re-arranging themselves
madden the senses like the hum of a thousand flies.
They attempt to escape the surface of the screen
but they are stuck in the skin of a steaming turd,
that enfolds them and congeals as it solidifies.

2 Switching off

The listless eyes absorb the sophistry of simulated sleaze
the bored ears attend each mindless moan
A screen of pulsing and panting, signifying nothing,
Until just before a false little death
silence slices through the last theatrical groan...

Labels: porn poem poetry nilhilism shit

From my notebook: 08/03/91

My refusal to indulge in secondary process thinking lead swiftly to insanity...not at all wise was it? All this isms pique my ire: situationalism, feminism, Stalinism, Internationalism. Ismism is the interlocked disease of our time, the intellectual equivalent of cheap clothes made by sweatshop labour.

Ok I've been a total shit to Katrina and must apologize. To conflate physical beauty with vapidity and vanity seems a particularly obtuse mistake for a epistemologist to make.

I'm not really a writer just an lexical auditor with pretensions to becoming experimental epistemologist.

Periphasis. A word to conjure with.

Conversation with Tom Alexander:

John: How well do you know Damien?

Tom: Too well.

..

Tom: A lot of very talented people, like Katrina.

John: (surprise) Katrina!?

Tom: She's got the motivation. That's 50%..

Rising conflict can be built out of attack and counter-attack. Rhythm and contrast. Look for those things everywhere, they are bedrock basics.

Nick Pollard: As a writer, beer is better.

So, why do I have heartburn?

North, fifty seven, peristalsis. Nine, six, five, clime, slime. Rhymye.

Claim nothing for your own or you will reap what is sown.

Note that there is hope. The Tories just got the Judith Hanna treatment in the recent by-election. Good. Flush turds down the pan, they belong in the sewers with the rats.

My ancestors were wise: "Don't give a man a sword until he knows how to dance."

Rites of passage. Time to drop the old things and go on.

I was bitter, introverted, socially gauche. This hasn't changed much. Also, slightly obnoxious to women. That's changed. Now, I'm really obnoxious to women.

Labels: harrogate notebook proverbs vocabulary 1991